When they inevitably ask me what finally caused me to crack and fly into a murderous rampage, it may very well be Candy Crush level 267. You may ask yourself “Self, why would someone so brilliant and handsome submit himself to such sweet torture?” An excellent question! But this scenario is far from unique. A cursory review of my life choices reveals that I must have a penchant for colossal amounts of self-inflicted frustration. Still, failing repeatedly to reach an arbitrary goal by sliding around animated candies is infinitely less frustrating than being in a relationship. For me anyway. Cheaper too.